#21 Voluntary Status

By Franco Un-American

I had just moved out of my usual catchment area. By moved, I mean I was living on the streets in the CBD which isn't in my catchment area. For some reason my dumbass hospital decided they wanted to do an assessment on me. Apparently being homeless was an indication of having no insight? No adequate supports and a hospital destroying your every attempt to secure independent housing more like it! But anyway! So I was living on Elizabeth St and the dumbasses want to assess me. So me being the "play it smart" kind of person that I am agreed to make my way in voluntary for an assessment, but assured them that they would see that it was just not necessary. See.... Insight.... rational..... reasonable...... that's me! It is worth mentioning here, as you may be wondering why they afforded me the respect of making my own way in, wow that's unusual right? Well, they had sent the police the night before who transported me to the closest hospital (that is all they are required to do, and all a city cop will do when requiring the Divvy van). The hospital I was transported to couldn't understand why I had been sectioned and rightfully allowed me to leave. So I arrive at the clinic of my dumbass catchment hospital, we have a bit of a chat about housing and my plans etc. I mention that I've been considering heading up to NSW for a couple of weeks for a bit of a break, bit of exploration, do something independently and build my confidence etc. Thought this was all pretty clever, what they want to hear....... Wrong! They had an agenda. "Are you suicidal?" She asks... ""No, I'm not" I respond. She continues to ask if I am suicidal in different ways multiple times until I get cranky and say sternly "I do not want to kill myself"....... "That sounded sarcastic, therefore, I must assume what you actually mean is that you want to kill yourself"......... WTF???? Are you for real bitch? So it continues...... "You will need to engage with CATT for the coming weeks so we can ensure your safety, do you agree to accept home visits from CATT?"......... "Ughhhhh I don't even know if I'll be here" (recall conversation regarding NSW). "You mean you don't know if you will be here as in alive?"...... This was phrased like a question but she immediately closed her notes and informed me that she was going to get the Consultant to write up the Involuntary Admission order as I threatened suicide and refused CATT........ Ok what the fuck!!! So I remain calm, "Ok" I say, "well I guess at least I have somewhere to sleep then, I am ok with this"...... This makes her very happy, so as she is leaving I make a quick request to duck outside for a smoke. She looks panicked and unsure, but I got her with my last line, she's sure I'm not running away...... "Promise me you will come right back?"....... "I promise" I said......... There's a bus out the front, I didn't even know where it was going, but I got on it and I was gone! I later read my files. No mention of the intended trip to NSW, claim I threatened suicide, "absconded before decision was made to section"........ Oh was it now? Someone went a fucked up letting me out unescorted. So anyway. I end up back in the CBD, she's calling begging me to come back like yeah nah, no thanks! I lasted about 24 hours before City police picked me up again to transport me direct to the ward. Mother Fuckers! So in the ward I go on a Friday night, plans ruined!!!! Cops wouldn't even let me have a beer while they waited for the wagon to show up (They arrived in a divvy because the hospital said I was violent, they approached me like a human and I responded accordingly, no need for the divvy they decided, best to keep it in the CBD on a Friday night). They couldn't for the life of them figure out why the hell I had been sectioned and made this known on arrival at the hospital. Great cops, but should have let me have my beer (Just quietly, the younger one was pretty tempted to join me, haha). So moving on, I arrive late at the hospital and immediately am drugged into oblivion, nothing new here. So I pass out and wake up the next morning to the Consultant wanting to see me. First thing I do (being my polite self) "Can I get some leave to go to uni please? I have already missed a few weeks trying to sort out housing, but I have met with my tutors and they're offering additional support if I get back and dont miss anymore, it's really important that I get back to Uni, it's so important for my recovery" (This obviously isn't a direct quote as I can't remember the exact wording, but was along these lines). The Consultant tells me that it just won't be possible, this is an acute ward and they just cant allow acute patients to take leave to attend University. Then she studies her paperwork a little closer and says "You have come in voluntarily"........ The fuck I did!!!!! (I didn't say this out loud)..... "I don't understand if you feel you need containment why you want to go to University? You will need to choose if you want to be here, or if you want to go to University". At this point I am really struggling to contain my excitement, what an error! This is perfect! But I play it cool...... Yes I understand, hmmmm, Can I just think for a minute? "Of course" she says "You go have a think about if you want to be here, or if you think it is best to be at University and come and let me know before I leave"............. Are they fucking with me? Is this a big joke? How long do I wait without it being obvious I am jumping at this opportunity to leave? I let her talk to a few people and then quietly approach..... "I have a had a good think, and I just think that I know how much better I feel when I am at University, I know I can pull through how I am feeling and I know that University will provide me a recovery pathway so I don't have to keep living like this, I think I should discharge"...... "That sounds very logical, I would be happy to discharge you today". How I contained my excitement at this point I still don't understand, but I did, I played it cool, and the dumbasses let me go.

Now there's a couple of points I want to emphasize here.

1. "Why would they want to do this to you so bad if you weren't even unwell, you're delusional"........ I get that this story sounds wack, why would the hospital care so much? Here's why!!! This hospital likes to avoid putting people on treatment orders on paper, but loves for everyone to essentially be on one. I had not been taking my medication and made the mistake of letting this be known. I was not on a treatment order, therefore the hospital could not enforce medication compliance. But they could fake a "risk to self" assessment and admit me to the ward to remind me who 'dictates' my treatment.

2. The fuck was with that Voluntary status? Not complaining, it got me out. But open your eyes people, the "Voluntary" admission and "Voluntary" medication compliance are not just flawed as a result of coercion (eg; Go voluntarily or you will stay longer, Go voluntarily to private or we'll admit you here against your will, or take this medication or we'll inject you), but flawed with blatant lies. Nothing about this admission was voluntary, at no point did I voluntarily enter that ward, I was literally brought in by police. Yet, I was written up as a voluntary patient. Voluntary Vs Involuntary data is highly inaccurate and should not ever inform research, policy, decision making etc without very careful consideration of WTF ACTUALLY HAPPENED HERE?!?!?!?!?!?!

Apologies for the language and any spelling or grammatical errors throughout. I do not have my laptop cord at current due to it being longer than 30 fucking cms. So I won't be proof reading. But hope this was readable and enjoyable!